Happy MOM IT OUT MONDAY fellow warriors of this mom life!
It has been a tailspin of moments and milestones around here, but what’s really new?
On the home front, we are patiently awaiting word from immigration for when we can jet out of here and go get our son in Sierra Leone. He turns 16 on May 16, and I’m praying I’m in an airplane seat on my way to him with lots of candy and tennis shoes and a ticket for him to come home.
Our teens are both now SEVENTEEN and just went to PROM. Can you ground your teens for going to these things and dressing up and real, actual after parties that scare the shnikees out of me? It’s ok though, I think the after party was mostly awkward sitting – not like on tv or the ones I attended or threw, THANK GOD. Sky is in Colorado working with kids and hiking his life away through gorgeous mountains. Jocelyn is living it up in Dallas and I got to have lunch with her & met her boyfriend last week while I was there, glory!! Callie is busy raising our sweet grandbaby, Kennedy, and we got to see them for a little while this weekend – they came and celebrated Chris’ FIFTIETH bday and our 6th wedding anniversary with us. Whoa, time.
And the wittles… they got these crazy short haircuts that make them look TEN and they’ve been hanging out like fake Summer life during the OK Teacher Walkout, but, alas, they are back in session today and routine has returned.
During their fake break, we were couch surfing and since D spoke up first, he got his show choice which is always Power Rangers. Zay was not happy. He’s all Garfield all day.
In this episode, red ranger is mad because white ranger is not training WHEN and HOW he does. Red ranger is methodical, planned, prepared, and intentionally decisive in his battle ways. White ranger is all instinct. He relies on his gut a lot and that ticks off red ranger. Their differences cause quickness toward irritability and unnecessary remarks and shots made at one another. Yes, this is a mom post, not a marriage post, but I’m thinking this little nugget is going to apply again on Wifey Wednesday so just jump back over in 48 hours for a review.
Y’all. I was not prepared for a punch in the face via Power Rangers on this day. The wise guy, in one of those awful, gargantuan, creepy costumes comes in and throws a tennis ball straight to a bucket. Then he throws another tennis ball at a wall and it ricochets off two more walls before making it into the same bucket. His point being that you can arrive at the same destination from multiple paths traveled. AND THEN HE SAYS THIS:
Your anger dulls your skill.
Your anger DULLS YOUR SKILL.
dulls your skill.
Ok he didn’t say it three times. But it echoed just like that in my head. Maybe you have no anger and this isn’t really an issue, but I was raised with anger, depression, anxiety, and a few other kindreds to family dysfunction. Glory to God for His redeeming power. But, two things I know for me – 1) gentleness is a superpower that I’m still in deep training for, and 2) anger is easy. Real easy. I can literally be angry that my child is even having an emotion other than what I want him or her to display because it’s different or inconvenient or irritating. I can get mad that they are simply taking their time to do something (OMG waiting on children…), not picking up after themselves (which ironically they probably got from me) or that they are giving me some immature, depth lacking answers to my questions that only 5 year olds and 17 year olds could give. It’s dumb how easily I can go from mom life best life to rage city. I’m aware of my normals and though I’m working my hiney off to change my raisin’, angry pants always fit my thighs. I need that wise, creepy guy to throw tennis balls around my house and remind me that my daughters and sons can get where I want them to – happy/healthy/living their best lives – and not get there by going the path I choose for them.
My anger – I do not. like. But, my skills – whew, them babies are my fire, all my potential, my power & motivation in life! I LOVE MY SKILLS! This is the part of me that I can change, I can use for good, I can make them anything I want and however powerful I want! I would go to the hill for my skills. Whatever gifts or help I can bring to my family, my clients, this world, I want those knives sharpened and ready to slay at all times. I spend a lot of time training, reading, practicing, praying over, honing my skills to be the best I can be. I don’t want to leave this life still sitting in any settled self, not becoming the best counselor or mom or wife that I could be. I don’t want to watch my children twenty years from now be destroyed over stuff I didn’t do the hard work to process myself before they took it on. My skills are my gifts, my calling, my purpose and a lot of my legacy that will outlive me. Tell me I am sabotaging my own purpose or that my own unchecked emotions DULL MY SKILLS and I will sit up and pay attention. I can’t have that.
Don’t mess with my kids. Don’t mess with my sisters. And, don’t mess with my skills.
One of the specific prayers I pray often for Chris and I is to not discipline out of anger, but out of gentleness and truth.
Do not discipline out of anger. Just don’t.
We can probably all recall in our own lives how ineffective and unproductive being corrected in anger is. Worse, it crushes spirits. And we are not allowed to do that. Our job is to parent, not crush; to teach, not shame; to empower, not deflate.
Let’s correct with creativity this week. Every Mom It Out moment is an opportunity to represent Christ and be a vessel of grace and truth. Our tones, our facial expressions, our words – it all counts. Let’s channel our inner red ranger this week and take the advice of creepy wise guy, and Galatians 6. We got this. I mean really – we actully do GOT THIS.Patience, soft answers, gentleness, self control – these are the fruits & flavors of the Spirit – which is IN US. That’s power, sister.
Brothers (mothers), if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.
Prayer for the day:
LORD, let us not discipline in anger. Help us to breathe, think, and use every correction as an opportunity to create a new legacy in our families bent toward gentleness and grace. In Jesus’ Name.
Anger can take several seats. It’s a new day and a fresh new week! Mom it OUT!