SINGLE SPACE · Wifey WEDnesday

WIFEY WEDNESDAY & SINGLE SPACE WK2

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Well, this is a first… usually I like to write  Wifey Wednesday stuff but today’s post is actually directly to single ladies – particularly those journeying through the Single Space project right now – BUT – wifeys – we need your input so chime in, please!  AND, of course – as you do, I think you’ll find this pertains to us married girls, too.  We could use a refresher in our own wifey list!

Last week, Single Spacers made a husband list – 10 things you desire in a future mate – with #1 being Christian/Godly/Spiritual leader etc. – so that NOONE gets past #1 without making the list- EVEN IF THEY HAVE ALL OTHER 9!!

This week we are making a WIFEY LIST!  EEEEEE!  I love this!!!

What kind of wife do you want to be – because I can tell you from this side of the wedding – you best start preparing that character now.  You don’t just suddenly become a Proverbs 31 wife when you say I DO.

Proverbs has some very valuable input for us – so before you make that final draft of your wifey list – Grab your bible, highlighters, and 7-8 minutes and click play. 

 

SINGLE SPACE WEEK 2:

1. Wifey list

2. New Memory Verse:

wisdom is more precious that rubies, and NOTHING you desire can compare with it. ~ Proverbs 8:11

That being said – HOW DO WE GET WISDOM??James 1:5 says- (bonus memory verse?)

If anyone lacks wisdom – ASK God – who gives to all generously and it will be given to you!  BOOM.

After you’ve done some Proverbs 31 soaking, listen to some experienced women that have been there.

 

If you are single and want to join the journey, holla!  Girls are joining every day and it is an amazing way to start the  New Year!!

Follow @single_space on Instagram and join our fb group!  NO FEAR! WE GOT YOU!!

***WIFEYS***

If you are or have ever been a wife, please comment below – let us glean from you –  knowing what you know no – WHAT WOULD YOUR LIST LOOK LIKE??  What do you wish you would have done or become or taken on before you got married? I hope making your own list and considering where you are on your own list is as refreshing and challenging to your wifey walk as it has been for mine!

 

 

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35 thoughts on “WIFEY WEDNESDAY & SINGLE SPACE WK2

  1. I have been married 10 years. At year 5 I became under attack by the enemy. I thought by our 5th year of marriage I would be pregnant at least once if not twice. I planned all my childhood to be a wife and mom. God began to open doors for my husband and I to become foster parents and this is when Satan put on the full court press. After a lot of sin and bad choices too many to detail in this comment, but I am happy to share at a later time, my husband and I were separated and he filed for divorce. I am telling you we were done. God had bigger plans for us! During this whole process I was a luke warm Christian. God began to open are eyes and break the chains that bound us and beautifully restored our marriage. I mentioned above my desire to be a mom. In our struggle to become pregnant I suffered the loss of my “ideal marriage.” I planned to be a mom, my plans were to be pregnant and give birth to children that would resemble me and my husband. In this hurt I did not cling to God and it have satan the room to breed lies. Now I can say we by the goodness and grace of God we have celebrated 10 years together and 3 gorgeous adopted kids who have brought me more joy than words could express. Gods plan was greater, BETTER than my own plans. So all that being said one thing I wish I would have had on my wifey list was to trust only in the plans of God. He knows me best and knows the plans for me! I would also have on my list that I would truly put God in the number one position and being alert to the schemes on the enemy knowing his desire is to see marriages fail. Sorry this was so lengthy! And please disregard the typos 🙂

    1. Mmmmmm, tears and chills!! I know there is so much more to your story but WOW what a testimony in your words and walk!! THANK YOU for these words of truth and life!! Hallelujah!! I am praising God for His miracles in your marriage and mommy heart!!

  2. My husband and I were high school sweethearts and he was my first everything! First boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first heartbreak. At one point we broke up because I felt like I was loosing my self. It was the best desicion I ever made. I found myself, I dated jerks, I figured out what I wanted in a man. And that man ended up being my high school sweetheart and my now husband. We were together 7 years before we were married. I hate to admit that my husband was right in making me wait so long but he was. We got to know each other very well and figured out what our goals were in life and marriage. Now I’m still in the newly wed stage where everything is new and exciting but waiting so long and really getting to know my husband in that dating stage was the best thing! Take it slow. Figure out who you are and what you want before you marry someone.

    Hopefully this made sense and was helpful!

  3. Stacey, thanks so much for encouraging us to make a list of the characteristics of the wife that we want to be. I’ve never seen or heard that done quite this way before, and it’s exciting AND challenging as I take a closer look at who God has called me to be.

    1. It is straight from God and I think a great way to direct our focus off the man we want and onto the woman we want TO BE! Thank you for your encouragement and words of life!! GOdspeed girl!!

  4. The single best piece of advice I can give is to speak words of encouragment as much as you can. I have been married 11 years and it saddens me greatly to I think how much better and rewarding the first several years of my marriage could have been. As a society, we often portray men out to be some sort of emotionless, unmoved, and insensitive souls. Men, in general, do tend to bottle up a lot emotion, and our words of encouragement can begin to break down that barrier that plagues so many good hearted, Godly men. It has to be intentional and completely selfless. Once the barrier begins to fade, another whole level of intimacy begins to emerge. So ladies, build your men up as often as possible. Leave random notes, send sweet text messages or emails just because, or my favorite…sing his praise on social media (just rememeber not to be too cheesy, afterall they are still men).

  5. I guess I didnt really read the blog itself..woops. I only answered question I saw on FB and then clicked link. Oh well, my thoughts/advice anyways..hope it helps!:)

  6. Married 13 years! And it is forever, there is no doubt in my mind. I wish someone had told me…Chris needed to have encouragement from me. More than anything. More than sex, or food (which I fail miserably at by the way) more than bearing his kids or keeping a clean house or enjoying his hobbies. What Chris needed was my confidence in him. Even when I wasn’t. He woke up late, wasn’t great at his job, played video games, went out with friends…basically acted like a 13 year old. But this is just a guy in his 20’s you guys. I’m just being honest. It is most guys. He also had ADHD which kept him from being the best at finances, keeping his car clean, etc. He was distracted and looking back, discouraged. So it only got worse when (and I’m ashamed to say this to you all, but I’m all about the truth here because I’m not that person anymore) when I would mutter within his earshot how lazy he was, how we’d never be more than white trash, how we were destined to fail. Maybe you won’t do that, maybe you’ll think about it…maybe you’ll be tempted to or maybe you will without knowing it. I was the one who didn’t even realize how bad I was talking to him until one day he confronted me. And he cried. Hard. He cried like I’d never seen him cry before. He cried worse than when his sister moved away, or when his dad died. He bawled. He was broken. I did that.

    I tell you this because it took me that terrible, shameful moment in our marriage to give me the wake up call I needed. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew cutting him down was the opposite. So I began to encourage him. Not some fake weird made up compliment. Like, a real, heartfelt compliment or word spoken to him. I admit it wasn’t every day. I tried every day. Mainly it was once a week to begin with. I would say “I love how you smile” or “I love how you act like you like that grilled cheese I made you” at first, because I needed to learn how to find the things to compliment him. I always said “I love you” but I wanted to give him something more. I needed to build him up.

    And it’s a good thing I did. He lost his job. He cried hard again. He felt like crap. He didn’t know where to go. Thankfully I had been thinking of ways to be grateful for him. I was able to say these simple words “I believe in you.”

    Chris got another job. I kept encouraging him. Soon I started to believe it too. I started respecting him. A lot. Like, a whole lot. We had some kids. I got cancer. He stuck by me. He got laid off from that job and got another one. I kept believing in him. I kept encouraging him. He became an incredible father. I got well. He was laid off–yes again. It was terrible. I told him I believed in him. More than ever before. He started his own business. I said I would help him.

    That was 5 years ago now. We run a successful and growing–and thriving–IT company in OKC. I never ever ever criticize him–to our kids, to my mom, to my BFF, to him, on facebook, etc. Ever. I may think something crazy every now and then but I tell him almost every day (I can’t do anything consistently every day–that’s one reason we have two kids, birth control pills are hard to remember) how much I ADORE him. And the more I started talking to him like this, the more I believed it.

    Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty awesome. We have learned to build one another up, to turn inward in conflict, and to work out tricky situations together.

    I hope this helps someone.

    1. GOOD GOD GIRL IT HELPS ME!! I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS TONIGHT!!! Tears and chuckles – always both with you! YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING and I thank GOD for your obedience in this area so we can all learn from you. SPEAK LIFE TO YOUR HUSBAND!! I’m posting this above my computer as soon as I hit reply on this, and then thanking God for you and praying a blessing over you and your amazing crew!! ❤

  7. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years. I think some of the most important things I have learned that I wish I had learned before marriage are allow your husband to lead, your husband is God’s masterpiece, and that you don’t have to follow typical gender roles.
    My husband is laid back and I’m a planner. Sometimes its so easy for me to take the reigns and tell him what I think we should be doing or how how we should do something. For example…finances…ugh. So hard to let go and let him to do it the way he wants. I had to learn to that I had no reason to not trust his judgement and that just because his way was different than mine didn’t mean he was wrong. It was so hard for me to LET GO, but guess what…we are fine. He has done an amazing job of taking care of our family and providing for us.
    You cannot make your husband do anything he doesn’t want to do. You want him to spend more time with the kids, make time to be home more, whatever it may be just pray about it. Pray for God to continue to mold your husband into the man GOD wants him to be. “Better to live on a roof than share the house with a nagging wife.” Prov. 21:9 Talk about a punch in the gut. I definitely felt God casually looking over my shoulder as I read that and Him saying, “yep, just sit on that one for a bit. Soak it in.” I was a nagging wife…blech. I am a recovering nagger. This one takes daily prayers for myself to quit opening my mouth to my husband about stupid stuff and pour my heart to God.
    When we got married, I assumed my husband would mow the lawn, be Mr. Fix It, take out the trash, and help wash dishes after dinner. After all, thats what my dad did. I didn’t even think that I needed to voice those expectations because I just figured it was innate for men to do those things. Turns out, I suck at cooking and I’m not the best at being tidy. 🙂 So, my amazing husband will cook for us while I may mow. Also my husbands job keeps him away sometimes for days or weeks so he can’t be here to always do those things. I couldn’t sit and pout that I was doing the “husbands jobs” because in the end we are just called to be each others helpers. So while he is gone working tirelessly to provide I do what I can at home to ease his load when he is home.
    There is so much I’ve learned about myself since we’ve been married, but those are the things that stick out the most.

  8. Ben and I have been married almost 7 years. We are by far the picture of a perfect marriage, but I can safely say two things have saved us: Jesus & laughter. God put us together, no doubt. And He is the One keeping us together!

    During the moments when I am stewing over something small, probably cursing under my breathe while vigorously scrubbing a dish at the sink (because that’s how I roll), God reminds me of something. If I can just bring the things in my marriage to Him and ask, He will take care of it. Whether its something in me that needs to be worked out or a perspective change for both of us, He always works it out. I know its God, because He put two extremely stubborn, opinionated people together so it has to be a miracle.

    The single life is a beautiful season. Married life is also a beautiful season. There are advantages and challenges to both. Take the most from where you are at TODAY. God’s call is today! Not when you are married. I failed at that before I married Ben. Luckily, although I probably wasn’t prepared spiritually, emotionally, or mentally like I should have been for marriage, God brought my person anyway and HE gives me everything I need in the moments when I am failing at it! And grace is huge. Ben has had a huge amount of grace for me and I for him. Praise God!

    1. Beautiful! Thank you for the honest word on marriage and what it truly is to unite two human natured beings with the grace of God and how it is relevant TODAY! Jesus & laughter <— YES!!!

  9. Wow, what a challenge. While single, I probably spent more time thinking about what I wanted in a spouse than the kind of spouse I wanted to become. : / I’m going to have to take some time to think about “my list,” but for now I will chime in on the first thing that came to mind.

    David and I have been married for almost two years. My husband is the most patient, gentle, and non combative person I have ever met … outside of maybe my dad. (It’s a close race!) He is wise and thoughtful. He serves me constantly, and I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

    The one thing that I would encourage anyone desiring marriage someday to work on NOW is her ability to handle conflict. My personality is such that if I feel that I have been wronged in some way, I want to address it … head on. I am willing to forgive, but there has to be confrontation, and oftentimes I tend to make the other person feel bad about what they’ve done to offend me. I am quick to see the faults in others and often fail to remove (or even notice) the “log from (my) own eye.”

    That just doesn’t work in marriage.

    Because David does such a good job of loving me, I’ve grown to expect a lot out of him. 🙂 On the rare occasions that he doesn’t meet my expectations or offends or disappoints me in some way, I get my feelings hurt. And because he’s so good at loving me, he notices. Right away. He is quick to seek forgiveness (oftentimes needlessly so) and wants to make things right as quickly as possible. I, however, sometimes just want to be mad.

    Something that I desire to work on in my journey towards becoming a better wife is my ability to LET. IT. GO. I am certainly not perfect, and if anyone expected of me what I expect of others, I would pancake from the weight of it all. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Likewise, 1 Corinthians 13:6 explains that love “is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” I need to marinate myself in those for awhile.

    Don’t get me wrong; there are some issues within marriage that absolutely need to be addressed. We’ve encountered a few of them. Even in those, however, the ability to communicate clearly and lovingly in the midst of conflict is essential. For the little things, though? Let them go. And I would start now … with your parents, with your friends, with your boyfriend … with EVERYONE.

  10. Grant and I have been married for 11 years.

    1. Give up stupid expectations. I don’t mean the ones you NEED to have like they respect you, love God, love you, desire you, etc…I am talking about stupid expectations like wanting a date night to look a specific way and even though they tried it doesn’t meet up to the EXPECTATION you had in your head or you saw on some tv show…. encourage them, don’t make them feel like failures.

    2. FIND MARRIAGE PROTECTORS
    I cannot STRESS this one enough. YOU HAVE to have people in your life that will call you out when you might be treating your spouse unkind or need boundaries for certain areas. You have to have people in your life that will ASK you the tough questions. That will pry and literally help protect your marriage. Accountability in love. WE need each other.

    3. It’s not about YOU! Love is about CHOICE, it’s not always the dreamy feelings you have. Sometimes love isn’t dreamy, but it is your choice everyday to put them in front of yourself. In front of your dreams, desires, ambitions. When you put them in front they will in turn do the same thing. It is contagious. (By the way, I am preaching to myself more than anyone.)

  11. My husband and I were married this past April so we are about to celebrate our first year anniversary this coming spring. However, I have been married before and I can tell you that the importance lies in the commitment to God and knowing that your man is Godly and a spiritual leader. My previous marriages were not God centered and I really struggled in them to be the wife I always wanted to be. When the enemy is allowed in it brings ruthless trouble for all involved. When I met my husband I was not looking for a boyfriend. I was not looking to ever be married again. I was ready for another season of ME and was focusing on my two children and myself and my relationship with the big Daddy upstairs. However, my husband was persistent. He knew when I was struggling and he knew when my heart was hurting because he paid attention and he prayed over me. PRAYED OVER ME LADIES!!! Seriously … a man that will pray over a woman he “likes” is special. Please PLEASE keep that first item on your list as a Godly man and spiritual leader because it does not matter what else is on that list … if that is missing or is not at the top then the enemy will show his ugly head and suffocate the relationship, but not before devouring all that is good from you in that. As a wife, to a husband who travels for work and is gone ten days and then home four days, a wife that works full time, goes to school full time and takes care of the house and home and two children full time … I can tell you it can get hard but with God all things are possible.

    My main priorities for my husband are:

    1) BE PRESENT. When we talk, we talk. When we snuggle it is just us. We make time for us. We plan date nights. We facetime when he travels. We communicate.
    2) SPOIL MY MAN. He travels. He lives in a hotel. He misses so much from home and that is hard on him. It may be hard on me, but it is hard on him, too. So, when he is home I spoil him with yummy meals, backrubs, head scratchings, haircuts, movies he wants to watch. I make his time home special and I make sure he knows we love him and miss him when he is gone.
    3) BE STRONG. I am strong in my faith. Strong in my convictions. Strong as a wife who supports him and strong as a mother who raises the children that look up to us both. I am strong where my husband needs me to be strong and I am softened where he needs to lead me.
    4) BE SMART. Just because I am married does not mean I am less than I was before. When I was single I was motivated, educated, hard working, responsible, independent and proud. Marriage does not make those things go away. Now that I am married I am motivated even more. I am still continuing my education, I work hard to help provide, I am responsible and I am independent when things need to be done and I am dependent on my husband when I need him. That does not change.
    5) LAUGHTER AND PRAYER. A couple that laughs together stays together. If you do not pray together and laugh together where is the substance of importance? God is first. Each other are second. Children are third. With that recipe joy is always there. Laughter cures all!
    6) FEARLESS. Do not be afraid to be a strong woman in a marriage. Strength does not mean you do not need your man to be a leader. It does not mean that you are trying to be head of the household yourself. It means you are strong and it means you are not afraid of anything that may come your way because you have each other and nothing can falter your relationship without you allowing it to.
    7) BE GIVING. This is where I really struggled in the first few months. I was a single mother for four years before I met my husband. I was very independent and set in my ways and had my routine that worked for me and the kids. To set all that aside and be giving to my husband was a new transition in a new season for me. But it was so easy when I realized that it was hard for him as well to come into a marriage and be a dad and a husband and be giving to me as well. This takes time and patience. Simply communicate and be there for one another and the giving comes naturally.
    8) COMMUNICATE. Men cannot CANNOT read your mind. Trust me. Silent treatments are torture. Little quips of “do what you want” are playing with fire. Do not set your man up for failure by not communicating how you feel, what you want, what you need and what your fears are with him. In order to be a team when you are married you must be a team when you date. BE TRANSPARENT. You cannot expect a man to understand you if you do not let him in. When I was dating my husband he sat me down one night on the front porch, in his lap, with his arms around me, under the stars. (romantic, right?) Do you know what he said to me? He said, “I love you. I really love you. But, woman, if you do not let down your walls low enough for me to climb over them I can NEVER show you the man I want to be in your life. It does not matter how hard I try or how hard you try. If you cannot let me in, this will never work. I am not giving up. But please try to let me in a little more.” BEST conversation ever. He made me face my weakness and it made me a better woman.

    And the best advice I can give you is to be you. Be Godly. Be courageous. Do not pretend to be someone you are not. If you wear Rocket Dogs, wear them. If you wear stilettos, wear them. If you do not like makeup, don’t put it on. If you do not like country music, do not pretend to like it. What you are when in the presence of that man is who he believes you will be later on. Be transparent and trust that God takes good care of His girls. ALWAYS. ❤

    1. Ahhhh, just so much!! so many morsels of YESSSSS and AAAAMEN!!! Love what God has blessed you two with in one another!! You’re amazing!! Thank you for sharing love!!

      1. ❤ The one thing I have learned is that each day is a new day and we are both changing in our marriage together. Support. Communication. Forgiveness. All important factors to a successful marriage.

  12. Faced with a teen pregnancy, I found myself walking down the aisle at the age of 17. I had no clue what kind of wife I aspired to be or what it would take to even make it through year one successfully. Heck I remember thinking on my wedding day… “What’s the worst thing that could happen?! I end up passing on the legacy of broken marriages that had been so graciously handed down to me?”

    Thankfully unbeknownst to me that journey down the aisle as a new mom at the age of 17 was also the start of a journey to discovering a relationship with the ultimate Bridegroom who could take the lives of two very broken people and not only sustain them through 18 years of marriage and counting but also create a family story that He gets to use for His glory everyday.

    So while I did not have a list of qualities I wanted to possess as a wife pre-marriage (and pre-Jesus ), I certainly have one now. I’ll post about my top two for now.

    Helper- gotta go back to the genesis basics here. No “suitable helper” was found. I am convinced that God has uniquely fashioned and created me to be the perfect imperfect helpmate to my husband. You spend five minutes with my husband and I and it’s evident that we fall on two completely opposite spectrums on every personality test out there. But that’s the beautiful thing. His weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa. Together we comprise an unstoppable force for Gods kingdom that could not accomplish the same apart. In my role as “helpmate”, I feel like I have been called to be his biggest cheerleader and his toughest critic at the same time. I want to affirm, encourage, and celebrate all his victories. But as the person who can read him like a book, I also want to hold him accountable and help him be the man that God has called him to be.

    Whole- my life pre-marriage and pre-Jesus could be summed up in the old lyrics “looking for love in all the wrong places”. Unfortunately I carried that dysfunction into my marriage. I came in with the Disney fairytale mindset that my Prince Charming would somehow fill all the void and empty spaces in my heart and we would live happily ever after. Unrealistic expectations in hand, this mentality lead to countless knock down drag out fights and finally the realization that it was not my husband’s job to make me feel happy! The point is that marriage has a higher goal than to make two people happy or even whole. I love (and highly recommend) Gary Thomas’s book “sacred marriage”. It literally transformed our marriage with the basic premise that Gods design for marriage is not to make us HAPPY but to make us HOLY! In order to be the wife that God has called me to be, I need to be first and foremost be WHOLE.

    1. MMMM I will have to check out that book!! Great truths Tiffany!! I LOVE that you pointed out helper!! That is my desire and prayer as Genesis shows us this unique and sacred purpose as wives!! Thank you for sharing!!

  13. Wow where do I start ? I am engaged to be married in 46 days to my best friend my gift from God. First as you are in this single phase of life LOVE it use the time to work on you. ( speaking from experience) 2) know your worth– God loves you and only wants the best for you. And will bring him to you when you are ready. Just like he did me. Don’t lower your standards! 3) pray for your future husband now. 4) know this I wasn’t looking and look what God did!! Patience ladies !
    5) TRUST GOD can’t say that enough.
    My first marriage wasn’t God centered this relationship sure is! God always comes first! And when that happens the blessings POUR in!
    Praying for all you single ladies and know God already knows who you will marry — work on yourself be honest – and get closer to God. Again all in His timing

  14. Learning to speak my husband’s love language has been challenging for me but I know how important it is to his success. I am an acts of service person, he is a words of affirmations person, words of affirmation are not easy for me. I think it, but I don’t say it. If he can’t hear it, how’s he gonna know. 😉 I want to be the wife that always encourages her husband, build him up to others and let him know how proud I am of him as a provider, father, stepfather, husband, friend, spiritual leader, etc.

    It’s a hard concept to get but there is so much truth behind speaking what you WANT your man to be instead of what he isn’t. Words can build up or tear down…we choose which one we give our husband.

  15. Next month My hubby and I will be married for 25 years and it’s quite incredible if you know my past. My advice to wife’s is to always always respect your husband and their decisions. Never treat them in a condescending manner, especially in front of others. Pray for your husband daily without fail and be in THE WORD. Be a giver and not a taker. Give him as much love, attention, and space as he needs. Do little things for him all the time – like sending texts or emails or putting love notes in his drawers or coat or pants pockets and planning date nights and quiet times together. When you have something you need to discuss don’t do it in the heat of a moment – try later when things are settled down. Don’t control him – allow him to unfold into what God is forming. You are his helper and the closest name to that in the Bible is the Holy Spirit who always speaks with a gentle kind voice, never demanding or pushing us. But remember, you aren’t the Holy Spirit, but you are a helper so help him to be the man God wants him to be by encouraging him and giving him confidence and trusting him. Try to keep yourself looking nice and kept and don’t just let yourself go because you have him now. Try to do activities and fun things that he likes to enjoy. Someone else can easily fit on the back of that motorcycle if you refuse to go with him. I would say that if you treat him as if he is hurting every time you speak to him you will never miss the mark. That really should go for everyone you meet in life! Tell him you love him every day and then act like it!

  16. I am a 62 year old mother, and grandmother. I have learned a lot through my mistakes. Please ladies, learn from others and save yourself a lot of heartache.

    There are so many memories flooding my mind that I have difficulty putting them in their most significant order.

    I can tell someone what I have learned, but it seems, so many manipulate God and try to fast forward their lives because they will not wait on God. Inside, they think they will disappointed in God’s plan. Remember the example of Sarah and Abraham. Look what chaos came forth from their manipulating God. Have patience. You will not be disappointed, I guarantee!.

    1. First of all, a woman must like herself and NOT expect a man to constantly build her up. This is what I call the “god” syndrome. Women want to be “gods” to their husbands. If she depends on that, she will be sorely disappointed and will usually find herself blaming him and expecting him to fulfill her every need. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! IT IS A DESIRE WHICH IS INSATIABLE. THE MORE IT’S FED THE MORE IT WANTS.
    2. The most important factor in choosing the right man is , YOU MUST LIKE HIM! Not be attracted to him, lust after him, or love him. I cannot stress this point enough. For a marriage to last, you must like the person he is to others, his family, and to little children. Does he lie, deceive, or cheat in LITTLE things? If he does, he will FAIL the big issues in life. He is not the one. I don’t care how good looking he is. Get your head on straight.
    3. Have self respect!!!! I see so little! LOVE YOURSELF! DON’T SLEEP WITH SOMEONE BEFORE MARRIAGE. HAVE SELF RESPECT! When you do, you will have peace of mind. So much better than, so called, love.

    After stating all of this, let me share a little of my marriage of 42years. I like the person I married. He is ethical in business and puts others first. I am so very proud of him!!!! Talk about a turn on! I think that is sexy! Our relationship is far from perfect and he does not fulfill all my needs nor I his. The two things I must have in a mate are met. In other words, I could not live with someone who had no ethics, nor one who called me bad names or someone who does not like children. So, I have a wonderful marriage.
    Big lesson I learned and am still learning: Prayer changes things. FIRST, YOU pray to be changed, NOT change your mate. Through your transformation, He will transform your mate. AWESOME! He alone is AWESOME!

  17. I have been married now for 12 years and I can say that my husband has seen me at my highest times of life and now during my lowest times of life. He is my best friend and I couldn’t thank God enough for bringing us together. Before I met my husband I fasted for a week praying and seeking for the husband that God wanted for me. I made a list of character qualities and most importantly spent time speaking to God about him. After the fast was over, I met my husband and our relationship evolved. He has been and still is a blessing to me. He’s definitely more than what I asked for.
    Now as a wifey, I pray that I am all that God wants me to be for him. His love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation whereas mine are acts of service and quality time . I’ve learned to be wise with my words and to tell him more often of how I appreciate him, love him and encourage him. I also make an effort to show more affection towards him since it’s not as natural to me as it is for him. Most importantly I do not push him to do things that I “think” he should do, I have learned to pray more and not nag. God’s timing, is perfect timing. I’ve also learned throughout my years of marriage is to be patient with my husband.

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