So here’s the deal…
there are all these different characters or roles in every foster care situation.
There are DHS workers, and court officials.
Foster parents, foster siblings.
There’s a judge.
There’s always the victim.
There’s always an offender or perpetrator.
Unfortunately, there’s usually one or more characters in denial playing the role of bystanders.
And then there’s a bunch of other extra players caught in the mess.
These are the Miss Js.
These players are the casualties of war.
The damaged debris of sin.
For the Miss Js of foster care, their lives are destroyed, turned upside down, and they are forced into unfamiliar shelters, homes and schools, left to endure an aftermath of confusion and expected to accept a broken childhood through no fault or choice of their own, yet they suffer the massive consequences of someone else’s sin, and for what?
They don’t even know.
God is so amazing. He is so good to prepare us for what’s ahead in ways that we don’t even realize.
And I really like Kelly Clarkson.
*Bear with me here, the random will all make sense shortly.
The thing about Kelly Clarkson, is that she’s not “that girl”.
She doesn’t write a bunch of songs that feed that dumb tendency in girls to jerk hunt, attach to bad boys, and become so in love with the idea of love that they settle for any guy that can sweet talk them & keep them from a single status.
I hate to hear my girls belt out songs that empower and embrace that nature in young girls. UGH.
I’m sorry Taylor, but if you have to convince him that he’s the one for you, he’s probably not.
And I lovvve me some Mary J., but dangit, if she can sing about how Mr. Wrong constantly breaks her heart, but boast how she can’t ever leave him, somethin’ ain’t right. And despite the riches, and glamour, and talent… if she don’t have enough in her to know there’s better for her, she ain’t got much.
Lyrics… words… have the power of life and death.
Kelly sings about moving on, getting up, forgiveness, honesty, and embracing the freedom and strength that comes from letting go of unhealthy relationships, and becoming better for it.
My girls can belt out her songs any time! And I may or may not join them. 😉
So, on our way to court yesterday, we are jamming out to Miss Clarkson and Miss J proceeds to roll down her window and share the song with the world…
Now you have to know Miss J, to know how quiet and reserved she can be. She’s a silly mess of fun, no doubt – but this was different.
To buildings, to cars, to tons of downtown passersby…
She is SCREAM-singing the lyrics with everything inside of her…
“ WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGERRRR – STAND A LITTLE TALLERRR
DOESN’T MEAN I’M LONELY WHEN I’M ALOOOONE!!!
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES A FIGHTER – FOOTSTEPS EVEN LIGHTERRRR
DOESN’T MEAN I’M OVER ‘CAUSE YOU’RE GOOONEE!!
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STROOOOONGERRRRRRRRRRR
STROOOONNNGERRRRRRRRRRRRRR – JUST ME MYSELF & I
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER – STAND A LITTLE TALLER
DOESN’T MEAN I’M LONELY WHEN I’M ALOOOONEE! “
We were all laughing so hard, cracking up like crazy!!
It was a beautiful moment… the kind you want to bottle up and keep forever…
and for me, knowing what possibly lie ahead when we reached our destination, it was an incredible moment to witness God preparing her, building her up, empowering her with words of life that she didn’t even know she so desperately needed right then.
She didn’t know that just an hour later, her “father”, the man she’s known all her young life, the daddy that raised her and held her and made her smile,
That this man would take a seat on the bench in front of her, never speaking a word to her, and then moments later relinquish his rights to her.
Uhmmmm… I don’t…. well I mean I know… eghhmm… I think it means…. does it mean…
to give up?”
And without any explanation, without apology, no glance, hug, or even a nod,
she watched him through the glass doors as he walked out of her life.
I had no words.
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS.
Ohhhh JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS…
The 1 thing I knew,
in that numbing moment from hell,
is that words. have the power. of LIFE. and DEATH.
And the greatest, most powerful word I know to cover her with,
My heart was breaking so hard I wondered if she could hear it crumble…
I think I could hear hers.
There is a deep truth we refuse to abandon.
YES, her day SUCKED.
Yes, she may remember it forever.
Yes, her spirit may be stomped on,
BUT… it’s not gone. Her spirit is still alive. I know because I saw it in her smile this morning.
And her hope may have taken a blow, but that’s something noone can take away.
Her wings may be tattered, but NOT BROKEN. She will fly again.
You see, Miss J knows God.
She made the choice to give her heart to Him just this past year, and since then He’s been teaching her about Him, and about His love for her.
He has her heart.
And despite who tramples on it, He will hold it with His mighty hands!!!!
He will protect her from the deception that she is “given up” or let go of!!
HE WILL NOT LET GO.
HE WILL NOOTTTTT WALK AWAY.
HE WILL NEVER RELINQUISH!!!
HEEEEEE WILLLLLL NOOOOTTTTTTT GIVE UUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER EVER EVER EVERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
BECAUSE GOODDDD TAKES GOOD CARRREE OF HIS GIRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So THANK YOU enemy for the opportunity for God to reveal Himself as FATHER to Miss J!!
He prepared her for your jacked up plan and will damn your daddy issues to hell!! She does not receive any of that IN JESUS’ NAME!!!! SHE IS THE DAUGHTER OF A KING AND HER HEART IS HIS FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!
IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN!!!
Now excuse us while we take ourselves lake bound for a beautiful weekend where Miss J will be surrounded by people that love her, encourage her, and will hug her all DAY!!!!!
And YES, we will be BLARING Kelly Clarkson on the way!!!
*You can’t tell from this angle, but know that her wide smile is owning that song! And little does she know, God is doing something beautiful in her heart while she sings.
Mmmmmmm… good stuff, I tell you!
Proverbs 18:21 WORDS HAVE THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH.