A few of you may remember wayyy back in my 08 Mexico blogs when I vowed to start blogging “in the midst of a thing” so as not to forget a thing about the thing. Ok so maybe none of you remember. But I do. Fail.
In a forthcoming ‘Twenty-Ten’ blog I’ll state that as a rededication of my efforts this year as far as blogging & writing… but for tonight I’ll go ahead and start practicing that – because, for one, writing helps me process life; two, I’ll reread stuff as I relearn stuff through the years; three, I’m just a freak about documenting memories and processes; and lastly because tonight I will never get to sleep without draining some thoughts.
So much happened today. Change was in the air, bringing both Highs and Lows, and some things that fall into both categories.
~~ AFRICA ~~
I (not fully) but to some degree got caught up on my message box today. There’s still probably ½ a dozen in there. Please forgive me, sometimes my responses to things require more thought than I have time for at the moment -or maybe even energy for. As a side note, I plan to be better at that too this year.
Anyhoo, whiiiiiile there I did have some great discussions, but a one major **HIGH** was getting an informational message about a trip. to. AFRICA.
For yearrrrrs it was a hope of mine that seemed to always be surrounded by closed doors. HOWEVER, for some reason, opportunites and discussions have increased like wildfire over the last year – seriously it seems like every time I turn around I hear the word ‘Africa’ in a story or a statistic, a testimony, movie, book, just everywhere! The causes are popping up all around me – like when you buy a new car and the day after which you drive around realizing so did the rest of the world and their dogs. Needless to say, the awareness has increased for me… as well as my longing to go. The difference now, is that this year I’m more determined that ever. This particular trip is set for May.
And let me just say, I am going.
I’m not saying I really really really really really really really really realllllllllly want to go more than anything. I’m saying I AM GOING. Faith is do or die right? It’s all or nothing. So, I’m all in.
The money isn’t there. The approved vacation isn’t signed.
The Visa, the shots, the paperwork, the education, the preparation – and all the things I don’t even know I need in order to go – none of it has made it to the physical realm. Yet. But I am going.
*Thank You God for this open door – don’t leave me behind and for goodness sakes help me not run like the wind ahead of You on this. I’m believing for it period. Oh and please help me sleep tonight… I’m all ancy now. 😀
~~ WORK ~~
I love my job. It’s outrageous. But I love it.
My boss showed up today to transfer two of my guys to another property.
Two guys I really like. I know it’s necessary – I love this business precisely for it’s multifaceted tasks and constant change for growth. But I hate when they take one of mine. I, as much as possible in a work environment, treat my staff like family. I love getting to know them individually and as a whole and they all know they could come to me for anything day or night. I get attached.
I’ll miss these guys, I hate to see them go. I’ll make them breakfast in the morning and we’ll say our goodbyes, but by lunch they’ll be gone and I’ll get the opportunity to start building a new connection with the newbies. Hopefully they will fit right in and feel at home with the routines, the jams, and the smack talk 🙂
BUT… all of that being said – at the end of my visit w/ the bossman,
I remembered that I too will be leaving soon.
Most likely by February I will be headed to another property and leave behind this community that I’ve poured myself into for the last year and a half.
I’m at peace with this because I think my season here is coming to an end.
I think I’ve done all I can and given all I can to this community, staff, and residents, and I’m ready to move forward. It’ll be bittersweet to say goodbye to one work family and begin a new one, but that’s how Lows work – they usually point down the road to a challenge that eventually becomes a High.
*God thank You for the job you’ve provided me, the company, the people, and the challenges are all great blessings in my life. I love my job and I pray you’ll help me work in that Colossians way – wholeheartedly as to You and under Your authority instead of man.
~~ AN OUT OF THE BLUE OPPORTUNITY ~~
I got an e-mail from MetroFamily magazine today. At first I thought is was nothing. I entered some contest a while back so I assumed it was just a mass-mail thing. Wrong. As I read more closely I figured out it was written directly to me from the editor.
In my contest entry I had to submit an idea for upcoming articles, which I did. And with that I added some off the cuff statement casually mentioning that if they didn’t have someone to write it (jokingly, hardy har) that I’d be available. Well, as it turns out she liked the idea and asked to hear more of my thoughts about it as well as my experiences with writing. Ummmmm, whaaaaattt???
Hold up. WHAT?!?!?
I have to say, as much as I know this is a long shot of an opportunity – I was floored.
I would LOOOOOOOVE to write an article. I’ve thought of it many times as I read the weekly Gazette, the Look@OKC, as well as MetroFamily pieces. The mere experience of it would oooooze growth and learning in every way – self-discipline, knowledge, communication, as well as staying in tact with the actual English language – as much as I like divert to writing how it sounds talking in my head, and using my own versoin that Eric calls “Staceyfied” terminology.
She closed the e-mail by saying, “No guarantees but I’m certainly open. :)” Hmmmm… See that? Do you see that little smiley face at the end? I like those. I heart smileys in written conversation. They’re so casual. So airy. So kind. They’re not deep – no big deal. And yet, it’s like ending a statement with a sense of hope, or a promise of good things to come. (Yes, I also analyze the little things wayyyy too much – clearly. It’s both a strength and a weakness. Or maybe a sickness.) But even the consideration is an honor. The e-mail alone is humbling. A long shot for sure, but hey, I do love an open door. So, we’ll just see… 🙂
*God, You’re so fun. And so great at random. I like it when You surprise me. Help me to be faithful with what I have, so that You can trust me with more.
~~ A CONCERT & A 5 POINTED STAR ~~
One of the greatest parts of last year was seeing so many great shows. Paramore/No Doubt was especially unique in that I got to spend it with my two big little sisters, Steph & Kim. It was an absolute ROCK OUT time complete with yelling, dancing, jumping, and singing out LOUD at the top of our lungs for hours with an energetic sea of fellow fans under a beautiful Summer night sky. Both bands put on fantastic performances and it was simply a BLAST. But the best part of it all was having shared it with my sisters. I loved the quality time with Kim and Steph, it meant sooo much to me. Steph and I went to Fleetwood together years ago, but this was the first concert the three of us experienced together and I cherished it.
So today Steph calls. She asks me if I knew about the upcoming Black Eyed Peas concert. I do know about it – but at first I’m taken back. A little perplexed for a sec. You have to understand my sister. Stephanie is a home body. I mean that in the very best sense. She’s an amazing wife and the best mom Cole and Sissy could ever ask for.
But if she’s getting out of the house for anything – it had better be something gooooood – only something she’s REALLY interested in. And when that moment comes and she’s in the mood to step out- all I can say is ALLLLLLLLLLL ABOOOOOAAAARD!!!!!! Because as good as she is at taking care of home and family, she is the LIFE of the party as well. She’s the kind of person you just want to be around when she’s having fun because her joy, and her laugh, is infectious. All of my sisters are really this way – contagious – and downright fabulous at having fun. But Steph, well, she can be… mmmm, stubborn? hahaaaa!!! Ok that may not be the word I’m really looking for but I just mean to say – in a situation like this – where she calls me – about going to a concert —- pretty sure I’m INNNNN!!!!!!!
The best part is we’re hoping this time ALL the sisters will go – what a blast that would be!! 😀
*ok God, here’s the thing – 5 schedules (work, school, etc.) need to come together by some miracle for this road trip – and you know with 5 busy lives how hard that can be for us sometimes. Not to mention funds – b/c Africa is at the top of my to-dos this year and that’s going to cost a LOTTTT of money. I have to save. A LOT. And even more money will have to appear straight out of nowhere for Africa to take place. But I’ve seen You do that plenty of times. and I realllly want to go to this – mainly for the experience to be shared with my sissies. So if it’s alright with You – puhleeease provide – the schedules to work out, as well as the funds – since You own the cattle on a thousand hills, and me – well I’m a balla on a budget – and my two little sisters are working girls without money trees as well. Thank You! 😀
~~ UGH ~~
Lowwwww. Yuck. 😦
It has become inevitably clear that I’m going to have to do some letting go. Suuuucks.
I so do not want to. One side of me just wants to throw a fit, a grocery store-like tantrum and flat out refuse. There is physical sickness in my stomach and wrenching pain in my heart over it.
And the other side of me knows, deep down… it’s the right thing to do… if I truly desire God’s long term will more than my own temporal wants.
I’m leaning again on Rom 8:28.
*God it’s just hard sometimes to trust You when You are so stinkin adamant at times about having to give up something beautiful for something we cannot even see.
But I hear You. And of course, I trust You. And I’m trying to be better at life with You, following You and all that that entails, down to obedience. But I’m selfish. And I’m sad about this. I know how You work out the Lows for future Highs down the road, but tonight I’m not down the road yet. Tonight I’m still on the low side of this, so I’m just trusting You to unite my heart with Yours in a way that brings peace. Be so close to me. I need to feel You, to hear You… and mostly I need a whopping dose of your comfort, and probably a little help going to sleep tonight. I do realize that in asking for anything from You, above all I want Your will, and while it may mean sacrifice of good things, I am confident that You have not my – but Your – very best interests at heart and in mind. And ultimately, Your very best for me is what I want, too.
~~ MOMMA ~~
She called today 🙂
This was a high as well as about change. She just shared with me, caught me up on what my parentals are up to – mainly some prayerful decision making they’ve been up to. That’s their yard so I won’t go into detail here, but it was just such a high to hear her voice. As many highs as there were today, there were also some lows… and frankly, I just needed to talk to my momma today.
*Father, thank you for comforting me, calming me, and loving on me through her. God you are so good at that –> Always faithful to provide just what we need, just when we need it, even when we (or I for one) have so much going on sometimes to even realize we needed it.
Lyrics for today:
If we happen to part, Lord knows I don’t want that
But hey, we can’t be mad at God, We met today for a reason
I think I’m on the right track now…
Scripture for today:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God:
That if we ask anything – according to His will, He hears us.
Good grief (perfect oxymoron) a lot happened today…
and tomorrow is on it’s way. 🙂