DAY 8
Merlyn and I went for a run this morning and it was so nice because I had missed it the last couple days…
We made breakfast for all 40 or so people… Jeremy and I tag teamed throwing eggs on the grill, then laying a corn tortilla on top of that until cooked – – pretty good! especially with cheese 🙂

After breakfast we went to Capitan’s house…
Capitan is the aunt of Guadalupe – one of the ministry helpers – he’s the guy who talked to the children about God at the rancho we went to the first day…
Anyway, Lupe used to be a “river kid” – they’re called squatters” – they’re really poor so they just find a piece of land and build what they can on it – but since it’s not their land, their homes can just get torn down by the government or whoever owns it.
Sooooo, Capitan and her hubby still live off the river – he’s Christian and she’s Catholic. They let us walk around and see their homes and little gardens, etc. It just amazes me how little they live on. Capitan wanted to hug all of us – which was a lot – but it was sooo sweet 🙂

We went to get pinatas to take to the ranchos today, but plans for me quickly changed…

**ADIOS FINGERTIP

SERIOUSLY? ugh… I still cannot believe this happened…

We go by the house and I’m the last one out the door because I figure out we are going to the trash dump so I grab my tennies as well as the bag of nail polish for the ninas…my hands are full and I’m trying to get out the door – the big heavy metal door that has a lip on it that covers a portion of the door frame…

so – I get out the door and the dang thing shuts before I can get my hand free and just straight up slices the top of my finger OFF!

Like I just stop… and I haven’t seen it yet – I’m just thinking something ain’t right sista… and I look and sure enough blood is covering my finger and pouring out – I look down and sure enough my stinkin fingertip is laying on the ground (surreal) and I’m just saying “OW OW OW OW OW CRAP OW!!” while I’m trying to decide who to yell for help from 1) sick Haylie who might be on the toilet with diarrhea and of no use to me in my situation or 2) the guys around the house corner in the van who probably cant hear me at all. I opt for Haylie. “HAYLIE I CUT MY FINGER OFF!!” granted the whole thing wasn’t cut off but I was clear headed enough to know that “hey I cut my finger” wasn’t going to get anyone running as fast as I’d like them to. A million thoughts are going through my head – like stay calm, don’t freak out everyone and delay the whole trip to the trash dump, it’s just a finger tip – now think – what do you need to do?? Ummm. I HAVE NO FREAKIN’ IDEA!!!!!!!!! At this point I just remember chaos and walking back and forth NOT wanting to put the thing under running water..Haylie’s pretty much trippin with me cuz she wants to be helpful but she is just doing everything to keep from having to touch the fingertip laying on the floor -obviously this is new territory for us both… I’m like Haylie what should I do and she’s like “I don’t know – I guess put it under the water?” dangit! Dusty is headed our way by now thinking we’re just being slow girls but figures out what’s going on, makes a few dramatic faces, and then goes for help. A few people come to help and again Haylie – – she AIN’T touching my departed fingertip on the ground so she assists by pointing it out so someone else can bag it up and we head to the hospital…

I AM IN PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN people!!!!

The hospital is close but by the time we get there I am so out of it. I feel like I want to throw up and pass out – both with great intensity – for what seemed like and hour but evidently only like 10 minutes had passed.
Everybody gets kicked out and they say only one person can stay. Well this is important to me because when it comes to stuff like this I MUST have a hand to grip! I’m clinging to Haylie’s hand and Julie – (a lady with the youth group that has trained as a medical assistant ) asks would I rather have someone for emotional support or someone that can make sure they do everything right… I’m out of it still and I’m just like – Um hello – I NEED BOTH PLEASE!! Thankfully they do both get to stay. They clean it – OUCHYMAMA!!!!! and then I get to lay down and they’re talking about stinkin shots and needles and about to reattach my fingertip – all thoughts which is making me even more sick to my stomach. Thankfully at some point they pulled David in to help translate.

The doctor comes in too and determines that he is not going to reattach the fingertip since it didn’t get to the bone and the part that came off will grow back – it will just take a couple months. He kept saying things to help comfort me because he was so concerned I would be devastated ( as a girl) to have an ugly finger such a long time- but I was ELATED! See- While I was feeling like I wanted to die, Julie was steadily talking about how if they had to reattach it and there was any infection that it would be WAY worse once it’s reattached and that I should probably go home and the infection would be just awful – I had to just say okay – I get it- making me more queezy! So anyway that was the best case scenario for me.

On to the stupid shots…
If you’re anything like me – and I know many of you are – you despise shots! The very thought just makes me ILL!! When I had cancer I would always be getting stuck and so I would get this emla cream (what they use on little boys for their circumcision at birth) and always use it ahead of time to completely numb my skin on my own before I’d even get to the hospital. And even then – even if I couldn’t feel it – it still made me miserable just knowing it was happening ( of course I never watched!). So they tell me I’m getting not one but TWO – in the REAR!!! ugh.
The whole time Haylie is like 3 inches from my face telling me all kinds of stories – some intense, some hilarious – and just demanding all of my attention throughout the entire shot saga which was exactly what I needed. The first one was HORRIBLE!! The second – yeah WORSE! one in each cheek – 😦

I lay back down – still dead set on Haylie’s big brown eyes and intense stories. Then they do the digital blocks on my finger to numb it and OMG I thought I was going to die! That’s two more shots and I was just thanking God they didn’t feel the need to put them IN the wound (sometimes they do that in the states – and should be SHOT for it)

soooooo that’s FOUR shots – ALL ridiculously painful..

After the shots, I finally started to breathe a little more normally… also I quit climbing the wall with my legs 🙂

***NOW I’M FLIPPIN PEOPLE OFF…GEEZ…
We make it back to the house, I get some rest, and then head to dinner at the feeding center.

At first I’m feeling fine, walking around, playing around, even dancing around 🙂
See it’s my middle finger that got the damage and the wrap on it is so huge that it is seriously impossible for anyone that sees me to not make a “flip off” joke! seriously – it’s so huge! At one point the youth are throwing down like a hip hop beat banging with their hands on the tables and I start dancing – with my hands up – not realizing at all what this jig looks like with my big middle finger sticking out. I look over at Mindy and she’s is falling over laughing – so is Haylie… and they just start mocking me like I’m trying to do a vulgar dance and flipping everyone off is part of my groove or something! It was hilarious. So, anyway we’ve decided it means I LOVE YOU – because guys – seriously – I’m constantly giving the bird and I can’t even help it.

***THAT’S NOT ENOUGH…
At some point I start to feel super sick, queezy and light headed.
We head over to el casablanca and all through worship I am completely miserable – shivering with nonstop cold chills. As soon as it’s over Dusty runs me to the girls house so I can lay down and by this time I have a full blown fever. Sweating and cold chills. Can this day get any better? Matter of fact – HOW ABOUT THE WHOLE TRIP – couldn’t it just be uneventful? no dice.

DAY 9 –
The House of Pain

pretty simple:

sleep.

I got up at one point and it turns out everyone is getting sick and our house is like quarantine central – keeping all the sickies away from the group. All but about 4 on the team now have a bad case of diarrhea, including me – – only Nate Dog and I get the worst brunt of it and get totally and completely ill with some virus or something. I was so achey my whole body hurt just laying on the bed! Nate fetched us some rice and chicken – mmmmmmmmmm – if someone had tried to bring goat in the house I think we all would have tossed our cookies!

more sleep…

DAY 10 WHY GOD??

yep – more sickyness- – we’re all a bunch of bums and can’t get near the group until we’ve quit having diarrhea for 24hrs.

Thank God Haylie made arrangements for Andrea and Brandi to switch rooms with me cuz my bed felt like BRICKS on my sore bones! I woke up feeling better but still icky.
I made myself take a shower and get ready because I just could not be in bed anymore – I was going insane! I felt tons better after the shower and I had to go to the doctor to get my finger re-looked at and all the vehicles are gone to ranchos so Merlyn and Nate Dog and I headed that way on foot. It’s really close.

We get there and Nathan asks for Doc Juan and the ladies don’t seem to understand. Then they look at me and see my finger and Seriously these two mexican ladies let out a giggle and an “ahhhhh si!” like it just hit them and they know who to get because they remember my ordeal the other day. We couldn’t understand what they were saying but by the giggle I’m pretty sure it was something like “you remember -dumb white girl”.
LOL 🙂

the doc clears me and sends us on our way with more gauze and tape 🙂

We picked up some water and quesadillas ( no goat of course – all of our stomachs are still weak) and head back.

These couple of days I’m just like God why on earth did I stay another week to spend two days of it in stinkin bed!!
I mean seriously – had this not happened I could have gone bouldering AGAIN and been running in stinkn Mexico the last 3 days! It was really bothering me, like I started crying just because I loved the rock climbing/bouldering so much and that I was going to miss out on that and everything else just KILLED me inside.

***STUBBORN? WHO?
At first I was just like – oh I’m goin’. One less finger, but I’m going, dangit!

Well- Haylie said Mike told her I can’t go and that I wasn’t going to like it because I’m stubborn.( me? lol) and to top that off Logan asked if he could be there when they told me I couldn’t go bouldering – he wanted to bring popcorn! crack me up! the nerve! well I’m laughing just envisioning Mike sitting me down to tell me I can’t go bouldering and Logan between us chomping loudly on a big bucket of popcorn wih his little puppy Shiloh in his lap – and Haylie was laughing too but I’m like Haylie – U SO can’t talk – U are way more stubborn than me! But Haylie assured me my stubborness is a kind of passionate stubborness, and I’m cool with that. Of course I assured Haylie that her stubborness is of that which is the purest kind that simply says “hey this is the deal and how I feel so get over it!” LOL we laughed so hard!

But seriously – why why why do I have to miss out on all this great stuff! My heart is like MISSING the kids and I want to go feed the people and paint fingernails and tell them they are muy bonita!!

It’s not enough for me to slice and dice my finger but I gotta catch a virus too! geez!

Let me just first say –
I don’t in any way NEED to know why God allowed this – I totally trust Him, and I don’t ever assume I know just exactly what He is up to (because that would just make the Creator of the Universe crack up) and anyway I ‘m not naive either – saying “why God” and depending on an answer as opposed to just trusting – well that can make a person go insane!

but there were some great things I can see that came out of it being house-ridden for two days…being cooped up in the house with all the other sicky team workers has been pretty amazing.

We had some great times talking and sharing, I got to tell my whole cancer and adoption story ( you guys know how long those babies are ) and several times Merlyn said things like “If all of this happened just for us to talk and hear or learn …(such and such)… it would be worth it. Really it was such a blessing to just fellowship and learn. Merlyn showed us all her pics from Africa – AWESOME! I want to go so mucho!! I got to hear about some unique struggles Logan is going through and his heart on it all. We looked at wedding dresses with Haylie – over 1000 of them – & we even shared our favorite Robin Thicke, India Arie, and Jordin Sparks videos on You tube 🙂

Oh and please – if all this was just to lay me flat out and FORCE me to be still for a few days – it wouldn’t be the first time God has pulled that one on me.

seriously – I cannot wait to get pics up for you guys – I tried today but it didn’t work out – grrr

Gotta’ go – the girls are gathered around my computer in bed watching Grey’s on the web – and I need my fix too! 🙂

LYRICS:
India Arie – Hope

There’s Hope
It doesn’t cost a thing to smile
You don’t gotta pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

SCRIPTURE:
Would u believe Isaiah 43:18-19 came up AGAIN today?
Merlyn was reading a fiction novel of Haylie’s – “Someday” and she comes into the room and reads us a passage of it and it has that very verse!
ridiculous 🙂

also… from my testimony
Isaiah 53 By His stripes I am healed
and James 5 – the prayer of faith will heal the sick
read it for more – that’s not all there is to it 🙂

also for today – 2 QUOTEs:
1) God doesn’t call the qualified – He qualifies the called ( that one God has brought up for years and then again yesterday – thanks booger)
2) To get what we’ve never had, we must do what we’ve never done (thanks momma)

HIGHS:
awesome fellowship
my finger hasn’t been hurting much at all
Africa pics and Youtube videos
my diarrhea ceased sometime before lunch 🙂
getting to tell Merlyn my cancer/adoption “stories” – It’s always a blessing to share what God has done for me – sheer MIRACLES!
I talked to Jacey!! yippee!!

LOWS:
diarrhea
no bouldering or running…sigh
not getting to go play with the beautiful brown kiddies 😦
uh mostly my fingertip getting sliced off – but seriously – I think I may have hated the shots worse…